I feel like a horrible blogger. I made this blog so that I was able to keep everyone up to date on Carson and how he is growing like a weed. Apparently I don't like being up to date. That's ok. I feel like people that care how Carson is doing talk to me anyways.
Im working through a lot of things right now. I have recently been having a really hard time with my job/ career decisions. I am really unhappy, but have no idea what to do with my life. Nursing has always been in the back of my head and I know its because I am kicking myself for changing my major in college. At this point in my life, I just have to evaluate everything going on and decide if its feasible with a husband, kid, and 2 dogs (yes, they count). Its a lot of $$, and a lot of time dedication. Do I put a hold on having any more kids? Do I do something for myself? I am just having a hard time figuring out what is going to make me happy, as well as my family.
I wish I could go back and re-do college. I loved spending so much time with my friends and its so hard when most of them live 1.5+ hours away. And I wish I could re-do my commitment to schoolwork. I really wish I would have done a better job with classes and cared more. You never realize the important things until its too late..
Oh well, I guess everything works out the way it is supposed to. I just wish it would do it soon... :(
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
It's been too long...
It has been such a long time since I have written here. I started this far later than I wanted to, and then have slacked again.
So much has changed since the last post. Carson will be 9 months old on Monday. That is amazing to me. He is such a little man with such an amazing personality already. I see so much of both of us in him on a daily basis. He has his daddy's facial expressions and my laid back demeanor. Every day is a new adventure with him.
Carson started crawling about a week after he turned 7 months old. I couldn't believe it! He is all over the place now. At times, I feel like he is going to take off and start walking any day. He loves to stand and gets excited, which in turn makes him fall down. He is such a wonderful little boy.
I read a blog this morning that was posted by a friend. Their 4 month old daughter died last week while at the babysitter's house. She stopped breathing and was unable to be saved. I read the blogs that her mother has been writing since the day she died. All I could think of was, "What if that happened to me?" I can't even think about how that would effect me. I look forward to spending time with Carson every day, seeing him grow into a little man. I don't know how I would handle losing him so suddenly, or at all for that matter. There is nothing more sad that parents burying their children. I never understood the depth of that statement until I became a mother myself. And I can honestly understand now why they say a parent's love is unconditional. I couldn't imagine never having a relationship with my boy. It's one of God's greatest gifts. I don't know how some take advantage of that and live with that decision...
I am truely blessed with a wonderful husband and a wonderful little boy that reminds me of his daddy every day. Life is so short...and it's really too bad that it takes losing people close to you to make you realize that.
So much has changed since the last post. Carson will be 9 months old on Monday. That is amazing to me. He is such a little man with such an amazing personality already. I see so much of both of us in him on a daily basis. He has his daddy's facial expressions and my laid back demeanor. Every day is a new adventure with him.
Carson started crawling about a week after he turned 7 months old. I couldn't believe it! He is all over the place now. At times, I feel like he is going to take off and start walking any day. He loves to stand and gets excited, which in turn makes him fall down. He is such a wonderful little boy.
I read a blog this morning that was posted by a friend. Their 4 month old daughter died last week while at the babysitter's house. She stopped breathing and was unable to be saved. I read the blogs that her mother has been writing since the day she died. All I could think of was, "What if that happened to me?" I can't even think about how that would effect me. I look forward to spending time with Carson every day, seeing him grow into a little man. I don't know how I would handle losing him so suddenly, or at all for that matter. There is nothing more sad that parents burying their children. I never understood the depth of that statement until I became a mother myself. And I can honestly understand now why they say a parent's love is unconditional. I couldn't imagine never having a relationship with my boy. It's one of God's greatest gifts. I don't know how some take advantage of that and live with that decision...
I am truely blessed with a wonderful husband and a wonderful little boy that reminds me of his daddy every day. Life is so short...and it's really too bad that it takes losing people close to you to make you realize that.
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